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ABY​?​?​?

by CYBERBULLY

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1.
MILWAUKEE 02:30
I’m late for the train again gonna pass the blame again see the station empty fuck that feelin I can’t shake again excuses fall like china down the steps onto the floor and with each step I take I feel my feet grow cold and sore This place is an empty palace it is my home But in my solace l can’t sleep cause Shouting rings throughout the halls SHUT IT DOWN KILL IT DEAD PUT ALL THIS FAKE SHIT TO BED SING IT LULLABIES UNTIL IT SLOWLY FADES TO BLACK AND RED Out of my mind, all of the time in Milwaukee ALL I WANNA DO IS SLEEP Changing my mind, tryna rewind in Milwaukee SECOND CHANCES DONT EXIST Can’t sleep again, sweating in bed in Milwaukee DROWNING IN MY OWN STRESS Fading away, done for today bye Milwaukee DONT KNOW IF ILL BE COMING BACK
2.
3.
FACETODAY 04:37
Can’t keep chasing you You always know just what to do but no, not me I wish I knew But I will try my best to keep My head above my feet don’t fall asleep again just breathe again I’ll pull through soon enough Falling so behind Struggling to find the time I’m not dreaming anymore All I can do is move forward I forget what I came here to do Another night with only pixels in my view Keys click away with no remorse Feeling shaky but can’t pin down the source Soon enough the nights fading The light is suddenly pervading I tell myself I’ll be ok But god I just can’t face today Falling so behind Struggling to find the time I’m not dreaming anymore All I can do is move forward Don’t recall the last time I felt rested It’s my own fault, I always get too invested Constantly questioning the road I pave and if that road leads to an early grave if there’s anything I have to say it’s that I don’t I try so hard to help but always sink the fucking boat I’ll be dining on both feet tonight I know but in the end I tried my best I hope that I can say that I have grown Can’t keep chasing you You always know just what to do but no, not me I wish I knew But I will try my best to keep My head above my feet don’t fall asleep again just breathe again I’ll pull through soon enough
4.
5.
THATRING 04:08
Cut out of the loop don’t know why it seems to slip away as I dive in but damn if I don’t try to keep my head in check some times I think there was no loop to start with I just wish they told me That way I’d never have to hear that Goddamn telephone ring Can’t stand the ring I just wish they told me Can’t stand the ring
6.
In the late hours of the night I lie awake and ponder How does one picture what's right which lead me to wonder To what extent in the mind Are morals subjective And in trying to find What parts are objective I found that there are none which display clear cut rules of what is to be done and what is left to fools. We are all fools to others Unless we see all as brothers. To be alone To some is pain to be alone for others is gain Solitude for few Loneliness for many Nothing new Never had any Routine, a schedule how strange it feels. Daily rotation feels wrong somethings up Am I happy? well yes but not really but in fact I am Wake up time to go through the motions of yet another day to mosey through live, sort of Time to sleep but who are you kidding complete your routine with homework Then you may sleep. To be alone To some is pain to be alone for others is gain Solitude for few Loneliness for many Nothing new Never had any Time with one Can be soothing Time with one can be brooding But one must know You are what you make of you Your own thoughts must flow You are only lonely if your bad company is you.
7.
HELD BACK 03:19
the past two weeks have been like hell constantly contemplating all the times that I have fell short nothing new to report and all the while I sit here still not doing anything but feel weird about the way things are and the way they must be at least according to this naive human being I used to think that I could get a grip but god I was so full of it they say that wisdom comes with time don’t really know if I want this kind hiding don’t really feel like thriving my mind’s shut down completely but you’re going on just fine maybe I will in time has not gone this slow since we met please don’t think that I’ll forget right now I can’t help thinking that I’ve just held you back
8.
Doors are closing Walls are rising Doors are closing oh they’re all locked up Walls are rising things are getting rough Faces fading thought i knew you still All degrading faster than I thought Nails are driving it’s been sealed shut useless prying just can’t seem to stop Always numbing senses to the ground Overcoming isn’t in the cards The last bastion of my mental health once a stronghold of security is crumbling down and as I look across this barren land I see the remains of better times that now only haunt my brain [meanwhile] I continue to stare at the past moving forward’s not something that ever happens fast why are the death mechanics of real life so lame why can’t I just lose a life and restart the game?but that’s not how it works in purgatory you’ll stay till you figure this shit out or you pass away we act like we don’t have time to keep up with our own minds I guess if your ok with dogs pulling the leash that’s fine and lately I’m no better I’m being dragged and battered the pavement hurts so much but getting up takes too much effort I don’t have the drive to make things better so I wallow in mental waste hoping that things will change [WHAT TRIPE] suddenly you’ll feel great ain’t that how it happens? all your problems are erased just like magic [WHAT TRIPE] You’ll feel fine in no time Just go outside see a show, out the door it’s go time [WHAT TRIPE] Control yourself You’re overreacting Can’t you see how your acting? [WHAT TRIPE] I don’t know you What’s that bout being stuck you say? You want out well please step right this way Just know you asked for this, this is what you wanted so here’s a shortcut straight to the bottom Falling like a lead balloon Communication breaking down You’re time is gonna come they said but I didn’t think that time was now cheap references aside I can’t control my mind all this drama’s building up inside and every time I try to comprehend what’s going on I flounder Why does it have to end so poorly? Why do you have to ignore me? All this time I thought that this would die slowly but it’s my own fault for having expectations however never as a kid did I reset before saving cause it seems counterintuitive to make it weirder than it is common sense is hard to find in situations like this but the lack thereof has never thrown me down so hard wish that I’d known but hindsight’s 20/20 brah
9.
03.18.2012 04:05
it’s been years since I first played these chords for you the best smile that I have ever seen I truly believed you were too good for me but I said I’d give it a try never thought that I’d be so content and with you I hardly had to try so I truly believed that you’re too good for me but I stayed as long as you liked brand new life not refined but happy with you I learned to be a better me and as we figured out what life was all about our love remained but how minds change silently walls were built in between us our lives had diverged at a fork in the road I truly believed that you’d always keep me don’t know why I thought I was right when you left I came back to the bedroom looked inside and my heart it did sink in a pile was my life all alone and tossed aside it’s a sight I won’t lose to time in the face of all this i grew tired it was hard to see you thrive and learn to be alone so I’ve tried to relieve some of the aching misery it was you, that showed me the light brand new life not refined just like before without you I'll learn to be a better me and as we figure out what life is all about I’ll watch you from afar thanking you for who you are I’m sorry that I never finished this never quite knew the right words to sing but I truly believe that you made me into me and for that I sing you this song
10.
You know that feeling that you get when you’re all alone With your focus buried deep into a tv show or Film, empathy creeps up and swallows your mind what the hell you think I thought that I was feeling fine, but you become so invested that you can’t help but feel restless you wanna tell these people what to do but they just don’t get the message and will continue to exist in their silver screen dimension and then it hits you that this feelin's frequent I’m watching movies [they’re playing all the time] I’m watching movies [but of a different kind] We’re making movies [they take up all my time] I’m in a movie [hope I’m not the star] these aren’t directors cuts all you get is raw footage bits and pieces clipped together with no clear rootage yet somehow we find a way to make it meaningful and pretend like it’s all very strategical hours of film all coming in from different sources that must be parsed and spliced ready ASAP for production it’s your own last tango better make it casablanca don’t want a plan 9 on your hands or god forbid a robot monster I watching movies [they’re playing all the time] I’m watching movies [but of a different kind] We’re making movies [they take up all my time] I’m in a movie [hope I’m not the star]

about

A collection of bleeps and bloops I made over the last 5 months.
Sort of turned into a stress travel log, which is nice to have around.

A lot of these songs have been released before, but they all sound ~shinier~ than ever before (bttrmxsfrrl)

There's also a nice surprise if you buy the album ^<_^

credits

released April 11, 2016

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CYBERBULLY Providence, Rhode Island

confused feelings i really dont like myself noisy laptop music

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