1. |
HAPPY>=<GOOD???
03:02
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No
Good
I
Should maybe try a bit maybe some
good will come of it maybe ill
Get better equipped to do anything anything
Anything
DONT YOU THINK IM TRYING TO
EQUIVOCATE MY HAPPINESS WITH SOMETHING CLOSE TO
MORAL GOOD SPITE
SELF DETERMINED NON DESERVANCE
Nothing
Blanket
Feeling
Inept cant ever know what to do
maybe there’s nothing you can do
There’s never nothing you cant do
You just dont do you just dont do
DONT YOU THINK IM TRYING TO
EQUIVOCATE MY HAPPINESS WITH SOMETHING CLOSE TO
MORAL GOOD SPITE
SELF DETERMINED NON DESERVANCE
NO
LIES
SELF
DESPISE
YOU KNOW NOTHING
NOTHING
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2. |
D.I.Y.D.I.C.D.I.E.
02:48
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no one can do it themselves
think we could all use some help
Not to replicate the things
Socialized into our being
DIY
DIC
DIE
COLLECTIVELY
BULLSHIT RUNS DEEP
Recreating systems
stacked against us
Pretending like us “knowing” shit
Will always protect us
hierarchies feed off
Individuality’s tendency to demand itself as
Highest moral authority
Transactionary interactions
Social currency keeps on stackin
Are you safe enough?
Are you awake enough?
Are you in and out you win or lose
youre good youre bad dont understand WHAT PROOF
You got that you belong?
Are you cool enough to sing along?
Better not catch you dancin
If you’re not up to standards
nuance is up to me
Individually dont you see?
Holy shit it makes no goddamn sense
This is that nonsense we’re tryna get past
Pointing fingers at this point is just worthless
Collectively we gotta see that we’re all in this
RIGHT
NOW
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3. |
||||
OVERWHELMING SHAME DRIPS DOWN MY BACK
HOW DARE I FUCK IT UP AGAIN
YOU JUST WOKE UP ALREADY SUCKED
INTO A SPIRAL WITH NO
END IN SIGHT ETERNAL PLIGHT
MELODRAMATIC VISIONS FILL MY
EYES STARE BLANKLY AT THE WALL
ITS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO FEEL AT
ALL NOT LOST
AT WHAT COST
Don’t you know what time it is
Get up quick or just stay in you fucking
ALL FEELS LOST
CAN’T PAY THE COST
END IN SIGHT ETERNAL PLIGHT
MELODRAMATIC VISIONS FILL MY
EYES STARE BLANKLY AT THE WALL
ITS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO FEEL NO
No floor below me
One false move im falling down to
Not weak but not there
Foundation is crumbling to the ground
GROUNDED
MID-AIR
NO MEANS
TO END
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4. |
133CH
03:01
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Little baby leech where’d you get that blood?
you takin bites out of the people that you love?
Laying idly by, counting all the ways
You wish you could remove your teeth but its too late
Little baby leech where’d you get that money?
You think that you deserve that milk and honey?
Get a fucking clue, you dont have a chance
It’s all your fault cause you wont get off of your ass
SYSTEMIC PROBLEMS
WANT TO SOLVE THEM
FEEL COMPLICIT
JUST EXISITING
JUST A HUSK
OF DISTRUST
Guilt runs
So deeply
Always
Conceding
Resisting
Assistance
continued
Resentment
Of myself
LEECHING
|
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5. |
NOMORESKIN2024
04:01
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Closed off
To the world
Inside outside
Neithers real life
I cant feel my skin and hate my bones
Closed off
To myself
Inside outside
Neithers real life
I cant feel my skin and hate my bones
Open up the door
FUCK
that’s unthinkable
Think about my body
that’s unspeakable
Always caught in preparation
Always filled with hesitation
Always stuck on presentation
I cant feel my skin and hate my bones
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6. |
brain_hurty_no_money
04:12
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Losing grip on reality
So many days gone by
Lost weeks to this horrid dream
Gonna keep on failing me
Reactionary brains
Got a short leash
Tell myself it’s all on me this
Unrelenting lack of sleep
Anxiety depriving me of
Comfort leads to no release
No matter what i do it seems
Awakeness wont let go of me
The one thing that i know will help
I simply cant afford to get
Foreseeable future
Brain’ll be a cruel jerk
It’s hard enough to get through days
Without these horrible displays of
Bodily rebellion
Feels machiavellian
Fear of hostile takeover with
Ransom being mental health
just cant seem to find solutions
just cant seem to frame the rule set
Just cant seem to fake ways through it
Just cant seem to feel control in
MY OWN BODY
THE FUCK IS AUTONOMY
WHAT’S THIS BODY
THE FUCK IS AGENCY
|
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7. |
DOUBLE_LIFE(v2-boring)
03:06
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Double
Life
Not the
cool kind
constructs
are self applied
scared that they’ll
realize themselves become me
run the possibilities over and over again
over and over again hundreds of times in my head
Catastrophic thinking takes hold wont let go again
Wont let go again
Til i make amends
With my reflection
Cant move on til this resolves im Running in circles again
Running until im sick rehearsing hypotheticals
Just theoretical
It ‘s incredible the lengths ill go to never know
|
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8. |
||||
im so tired
ive woken up exhausted again
Running miles
In dreams i cant remember
I wanna feel better bout it
So absurd
The way that this can make or break
The time i have to spend awake
Dreaming
WAKING
NOT ESCAPING
|
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9. |
||||
Here we go again here we go again
Just some more distorted shit for me to
Bitch and moan over again hear the track again
Hear the track again hear the track again
Just some more distorted shit to keep me busy sitting in my bed
Losing time stay occupied or
Everything you say bout you comes
True so true how sad boo hoo
This pity partys way too much for you
Here we go again here we go again
Just some more distorted shit for me to
Bitch and moan over again
Hear the track again hear the track again
Just some more distorted shit for me to
Keep me busy keep me sitting in my bed
Losing time stay occupied as
Everything you say bout you comes
True so true how sad boo hoo
This pity partys fine without you
No more time for lies you
Can’t ignore the lights
Just too many words you
never have the sights
To give yourself what’s due
And all the folks around you
Bitter shallow ends to
Self aggrandize in
Superficial folly
Spectacle for all to see
Superficial folly
Spectacle for all to see
Superficial folly
Spectacle for all to see
Superficial folly
Spectacle for all to see
False
|
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10. |
FACETODAY2(STILLCANT)
03:42
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Bold i wanna be
wanna feel free
Confidence
No regrets
Effortlessly
Want to be me
So far away
Reach endlessly
Desparately
NEVER
Fraudulent existence
Calculated presence
God you’re just obsessed with
Being hugely conspicuous
Solace feeling like a cop out
Makes my sense of self just drop out
Cant find middle grounds to go out
Sense of self feels like a throw out
Do you even know yourself?
Why wont you just show yourself?
God this fronting like youve got a
fucking clue just throws yourself
Right under tires
burns like fire
Firm reminder
I feel lost as shit
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11. |
BIGDUMMYTHATHATESYOU
03:24
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Landlord
Clueless
Apologies
Useless
What’s the dollar value of the space i take up
Too much for you to even try to fake that you give a fuck
I tried to make my voice heard so youd get thiss too much
But nah youd rather waste your time make sure i stay sunk
I asked how much you think its worth for me to just be here
I wonder what its worth to you to just steer clear
Of dirty people like me lost in thoughtless meritocracy
A structure made to hold the blame like a weight atop my lungs
Landlord
Stooges
Safety
Unrooted
Landlord
Clueless
Apologies
Useless
With a distance not had before
I feel alien ever more
|
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12. |
(;_;)ijwtlnbp(O_O)
02:23
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EYEBALLS
SCARE ME
MORE THAN
MOST THINGS
I cant let them see me
I cant let them see me
What if someone sees me
I CANT TAKE THAT
BRAIN IN JAR
IDEAL FORM
NO CONFRONTING
THINGS I CANT BE
If they see me
What does that mean
I just wish to live not be perceived
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13. |
||||
Stench of sweat regret dreams came to me
Guilt takes hold and loses meaning
contempt attempt one more interpretation
No use no moves lay still
why u bother tryna solve yr subconscious’ non-ass-problems
Just need to get it in yr head you’ll wake up every day exhausted
Stench of sweat regret dreams that came to me
Guilt takes hold and loses meaning
contempt attempt one more interpretation
No use no moves lay still
why u bother tryna solve yr subconscious’ non-ass-problems
Just need to get it in yr head you’ll wake up every day exhausted
No more rest this test is constantly failed
Stuck fuck i feel like i cant quite breathe
contempt attempt one last interpretation
No use no moves lay still
No more rest this test constantly failed
Stuck fuck i feel like i cant quite breathe
Regret regret regret i carry everyday
No use no moves nothing
|
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14. |
2bad[sunsgonedead]
03:06
|
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unclear
what it means to be useful eludes me still
unseen
What i wish to be not feel eludes me still
unknowing
Not my wish to be or feel eludes me still
Unable
To perform this impossible task ive come to ask of me
Literally does not exist
Whatever weird dead end you posit
Possibilities have to include a world where
You cant solve it
All you know is not the world
Abstract reality gets hurled
Out of the window in despair
Once brave enough to go out there
Too bad
Softest lead
Holds me in bed
Day seems erased
The suns gone dead
How did you end up here again
Did “bad luck” break the mirror again
This mental pacing has no end the
Cracks in self reflection bend
An image i still fail to see
Avert my eyes when cast before me
How can i expect much more if
Out the door is so beyond me
Too bad
Softest lead
Holds me in bed
Day seems erased
The suns gone dead
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15. |
SHUTUPYOUIDIOTNERD
03:23
|
|||
Day to day to day to day to
day to day to day to day to
day
Day to day to day to day to
day to day to day to day to
Day
What’s that you don’t know you say?
Day to day to day to day to
day to day to day to day to
day
Day to day to day to day to
day to day to day to day to
day
Tough luck you lose wont ever get a goddamn clue
Night after night after night after night after night after
Night i cant find point of respite feeling seems uncontested
Fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after
Fight two steps back again flack again never really see a change in
Night after night after night after night after night after
Night feel so cold and cowardly my head outside of me
Light after light after light after light after light after
Light two steps more to death powerless it feels unrelenting
Motionless
Unrest
Distrust
Disgust
Purported freedom
Guilt amounting
Perceived morality
Still accounting
All the shame that
You have brung
All the blame you
Keep unsung
Feels wise to name
My great fears home
But i deserve
its halls to roam
|
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16. |
+allthatbeingsaid=
05:18
|
|||
its not fine to feel such confinement
Its not fine to feel such misalignment
Its not fine to feel so contrite in
Living at all
|
CYBERBULLY Providence, Rhode Island
confused feelings i really dont like myself noisy laptop music
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